Are You Okay? Are We Okay?
Adrift by Tommy Lei Photography
The post-pandemic depression is more real than you think. | Adrift by Tommy Lei Photography
2019 seems like a lifetime ago. I will be the first to admit that I am still processing the throes of when Covid actually started. I quite frankly never quite recovered.
In the early days of quarantine, I relished in knowing that I can comfortably stay home, free from plans, meetings and other commitments. Finally, there was a proper excuse, not the poorly thought-out ones I propped up last minute over text. We were actually encouraged to stay home and keep a safe distance away from other people, including our loved ones and friends.
Covid didn’t just change our lives; it upended it, and it morphed our habits, our values, and our intentions. Some good, some bad, but for the most part, the pandemic helped eliminate the unnecessary fodder that so often plagues our day-to-day lives.
With the sudden influx of free time, I felt the urgent need to fill up the void. I made a ton of Dalgona coffees, whipped hot oatmeal, and contemplated purchasing century-old sourdough starters. At that point, I had to confront the harsh reality that I will never be one of those people with a hidden knack for baking.
Then the weeks — months, really — flew by. Before you knew it, 2020 came and went. So did 2021. By some miracle, we somehow made it to 2022.
Over the past 3 years, I’ve wrestled with feelings of inadequacy, imposter syndrome, and heightened levels of anxiety leading into a looming depression. It’s affected my overall methodology and approach to work, particularly in the areas of content creation. It affected my fundamental capabilities for social interaction, with family, friends, and everyone else in between. I found myself irritable and restless. Wanting more, yet receiving less.
Desperately, I clung to any vestige of self-help resources I could gain access to. I started daily meditations on Bloom. I listened to a lot of podcasts, but truthfully you need only one. And I finally decided to — after putting this off for a decade and some change — share and publish my fine modern photography. Mortality, and the impending doom and gloom of a pandemic, can really force one to consider the gravity of their life’s decisions. What was once considered media consumption became endless doom scrolling. What was once a passion project became a relentless battle against an algorithm.
In all honesty, I am still scared. Uncertainty has become our new reality, as an ongoing war grapples the world, more news of viral diseases, and an ongoing pandemic that seems to come back every time despite advances in vaccinations. Fear seems to always win, somehow.
So where do we go from here? Am I the only person who is still stuck in 2019? Has the world moved on? Is Covid really over?
More importantly, how are you? Are we okay?
