What Does Self Love Mean to You?
Reflecting on my self-love mantras.
This was one of my most pondered questions throughout 2020-2021.
Tis the season of self-love. What does self-love mean?
For most of my life, I thought self-love was the equivalent of being selfish. I thought it meant that you held your own worth and time above everyone else’s. It came off as pretentious, to a certain degree.
I grew up in a traditional Chinese household, so the thought of self-love was almost non-existent. Everything you do is meant to serve the family and family only. All of my actions and intentions were always under constant review and evaluation. There was very little breathing room to just be me. It’s a foreign concept that I don’t think my parents and their contemporaries will ever quite comprehend.
And neither will I if it weren’t for the pandemic. The great pause as I affectionately call it now had really awakened me to go deeper and reconnect with my inner self and its needs. I started to finally embrace the wonders of boundaries, of quieting my mind, of tuning out the noise so I can finally hear my own voice.
I know some of this may seem cliche, perhaps ironic because aren’t Millennials the most self-absorbed generation already? Gen-Z is literally like - hold my beer, dear.
So what does self-love, both as a concept and in practice, mean to me?
Unconditional acceptance of one’s inherent flaws, insecurities, and misgivings
Permission to really be fullest selves
Build up confidence and courage through sustained habits
Foster positive, reaffirming, and supportive relations with friends and family
Make deliberate and sound decisions
Go against the grain of society’s expectations
Actively choose and prioritize you and your needs
While I understand some of these may sound cliche or even obvious, I think it would be foolish for anyone to believe that a blog entry could help everyone overcome the obstacles of loving oneself. I see this list as a conversation starter for everyone to start their own self-love journeys. Much like coming out as a gay man more than a decade ago, I believe self-love is a gradual and worthwhile pursuit of all things relating to growth.
I hope the self-love checklist is going to help you as much as it did for me. Feel free to share on your social platforms or respective circles. Here’s to an incredible lifetime of self-love, always. Feel free to chime in anytime below. Looking forward to hearing from all of you!
Much love,
Tommy
